Saturday, April 27, 2013

Between Doubt and Faith

I think of myself as a concrete thinker. I'm not fanciful. I don't believe angels walk among men, and I don't believe in UFOs or grey men with ovoid eyes.

On the other hand, I'm a Christian.

"I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth ..."

The words I recite each Sunday sometimes cause me to mentally cross my fingers behind my back. I don't believe in "the Old Guy in the Sky." I do believe in an Intention for order (for good, if you will), in the universe. I don't know the nature of this force, but I know this: we are happier when we are helpful. We are more at peace when we turn from darkness toward beauty. We are more fulfilled in community.

I suppose the nature of faith is, for me, accepting that I cannot understand the nature or the parameters of this force. But I can act in ways that make me feel closer to this force. When I am moving in the right way, I feel as though I'm standing in a warm light. The light shows me the next step, but doesn't push or impel me to it, any more than a flashlight compels your steps.

Creator, redeemer, spiritual guide: Light my way toward more love and less fear; toward better stewardship and away from waste; and keep me ever mindful of the needs of other.

Everything God Is Not, You Are

Everything God is not, you are:
Tangible (your strong legs, calloused hands, dear face, rough beard);
Savory (oh your mouth!);
Visible (the special blessing of watching as you age, your hair receding, your skin softening);
Audible (ever my favorite conversationalist, my dearest voice);
Aromatic (your scent in my nose is the very air of home);
But still,
Always a little unknowable.

You are the firm ground I stand on,
The compass by which I set my path,
The sun that lights my days, and warms me,
The moon that blesses my nights.

You are the guide that shows me the way,
The strong hand that helps me up when I falter,
The tender heart that aches when I ache,
The generous spirit that teaches me to be kind.

Chance moved us together,
Love and change bound us each to the other,
A constant will, a firm intention,
Holds us in each other's care.

Love isn't love that alters when the lovers do,
We change and love together, me and you.