Between Doubt and Faith

I think of myself as a concrete thinker. I'm not fanciful. I don't believe angels walk among men, and I don't believe in UFOs or grey men with ovoid eyes.

On the other hand, I'm a Christian.

"I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth ..."

The words I recite each Sunday sometimes cause me to mentally cross my fingers behind my back. I don't believe in "the Old Guy in the Sky." I do believe in an Intention for order (for good, if you will), in the universe. I don't know the nature of this force, but I know this: we are happier when we are helpful. We are more at peace when we turn from darkness toward beauty. We are more fulfilled in community.

I suppose the nature of faith is, for me, accepting that I cannot understand the nature or the parameters of this force. But I can act in ways that make me feel closer to this force. When I am moving in the right way, I feel as though I'm standing in a warm light. The light shows me the next step, but doesn't push or impel me to it, any more than a flashlight compels your steps.

Creator, redeemer, spiritual guide: Light my way toward more love and less fear; toward better stewardship and away from waste; and keep me ever mindful of the needs of other.